The Post First Draft Break Up – The Climb #962

Monday 11th October 2021

And once again I have too much to do.

Today was a bit all over the place. I’m not sure I accomplished anything major, but I certainly made progress towards accomplishments.

I did a bit of training / research for most of my available time, before editing half a novella. I continued the flashback scenes for The Accursed although this feels weird because that project feels over now I’ve written the end. Note for the future: Don’t write the last scene until the very end.

As a result I’m still antsy. Part of me wants to start editing The Accursed so I have another big project, another part of me wants to start writing The Worthy, even though the ideas still aren’t fully formed yet.

And yet, I seem to have all these other tasks that need working through.

What I very much need to do is relax and breathe.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve very much had a clear focus whether it be a primary goal like doing the first draft or a secondary one, such as the videos.

This week I kinda need to do a bit of everything, whilst at the same time, do nothing. This is why I usually take a week off after finishing a first draft. I feel adrift, lost, unsure. By taking a break I can experience all these emotions whilst making time for myself, whether that be going away or just diving into a game like Warcraft so I can forget myself for a time.

Instead, I feel on edge, feel the need to be doing something and everything, and stressed that there are tasks to be done.

Perhaps it’s a sign of just how much a novel takes out of you that a few days on, I still have this low level anxiety about being separated from that first draft.

So this week, I’m going to try and focus on getting a couple of things done. I’ll intersperse it with a bit of training, a bit of editing. A bit of this and a bit of that, knowing that the anxiety I feel is not from what I have to do, but from being separated from what I have done.

Every day, I want to write an issue of The Climb where I have this single accomplishment whether it be something physically I’ve done, written or completed (however trivial) or some conclusion I’ve reached from reading, researching, or piecing ideas together. I search for that pillar upon which to focus The Climb on each day as I go about my business. However, some days it’s all progress and no conclusion and those just add to my anxiety.

Underneath this, I think there are worries every author has. Is this draft I just finished any good? How much do I need to fix in the next revision? Can I take it from what it is now into something excellent, or did I waste the last 6 months? I’ve completed one marathon to find another before me.

I hate days like this. I always get them post first draft. They go away after a week but I just feel so restless.