Low Energy Days – The Climb #937

Thursday 16th September 2021

As a rule, I try not to be negative. It can be hard sometimes. Suffering with chronic illness means that some days I just feel drained and as a result, am out of positivity spoons.

I’ve not been feeling myself this week. The closest I can describe it is how you feel that day before you come down with a cold. Your body is trying to tell you something but you’re not sure what.

I’ve learnt to take special notice of this. In terms of my day to day, it’s not having an impact, but if my condition is about to flair up, it helps to have notice so I can take measures to reduce the impact. So I’m always checking in with myself and asking how I feel. Nine times out of ten it’s nothing. I can just have a day where I feel a little bit more rundown than normal and it not be anything.

I’m coming out of an extended period of illness. 2020 was pretty rough for me health wise. A combination of not being able to safely hunt down specific foods and supply issues, meant the compromises knocked my health off track. Combine that with an incident which resulted in my food plans being constantly fucked around with and it took about February to start to see any improvement.

Sometimes it’s because a certain food is making me unwell. If I’ve not eaten enough protein or eaten too many carbs, it can have an affect on my energy levels. I’ve started being religious with my eating at breakfast and lunchtime to make sure my nutrition is perfect and I’ve noticed a big difference. It was good before but now it’s spot on. But I share an evening meal with C and as such it can sometimes result in not enough of one macro or too much in another.

Sometimes, feeling unwell is just a 24 hour thing. I’ve said for the last couple of months that come this winter, after 18 months of almost total solitude, I’m likely to come down with every mundane virus doing the rounds one after another.

And sometimes I feel unwell because I’m pushing myself too hard. I have varying energy levels and whilst it would be unnoticeable to anyone working with me, I’m often having to juggle tasks so I don’t have deep work on days I’m on a low.

The problem is that when my energy is low, I am a lot more grumbly. I can get away with passing it off for age these days but more often than not is simply because I don’t have the energy to be positive.

The more I get my fluctuating energy levels under control the better my mood. It’s taken a long time and I’m still not there yet, but I can see so much progress compared to February where I was almost bed-ridden. I now really just need to start getting my fitness back. It’s a big job and I need to make sure I don’t rush it and make myself worse.

But the net result is that some days I feel really negative about everything and nothing. Writing is a hard profession and there are some days when I wonder why I bother. Not because of any rejection or anything that’s happened, just because I’m having a low energy day and writing has taken up so much of my energy this year.

I’ll bounce back. I always do. It’s just a low energy day. I’ve learnt to give them the attention they need but not put too much stock in them