One Eye On The Future – The Climb #790

Thursday 22^nd April 2021

The pre-writing is done. Today, I converted into word and gave it another read-through. It’s weird giving an edit to something I haven’t completed. I know that, come the finished thing, there will be bits I will need to pull out, character thoughts I’ll need to adjust, secondary arcs I’ll need to expand. For example, in this draft, the antagonist comes to a conclusion I don’t want them to make for another half a book. But, the way I’ll do that is write the whole thing, and then work backwards in the edit so there’s a defined arc.

I’m nervous about sending it off to my agent. What if it’s just not good enough? What if BaK was as good as I can be? I think I’m a better writer, but can I be sure?

I just now need to polish up the synopsis and then send it off. Sounds like a simple enough job but it’s filled with anxiety.

I’m proud at how I’ve really put my head down and worked in recent weeks. But I have found it wearing on me. I feel like I’ve worked hard this year for little return. I’ve not been going so hard as to burn myself out, but I do feel I need a holiday whilst simultaneously don’t feel I deserve one until I have something to show for it.

After sending this off, my next job is to work on a detailed synopsis for another project. This one is a paying gig and I need to get some tax documents to get it sorted (the joys of working for overseas firms). I’ve got a discovery call with an accountant tomorrow. Part of me is pleased with myself for getting organised early. Another part of me feels like I’m getting ready too early as I have little to show for it.

I know at some point I’m going to have everything happen at once and it’ll be exciting and ridiculously busy, but at the moment it’s all grunt work in silence.

I’ve got one eye on the future, but mostly I’m focused on pumping work out.