Thursday 21st January 2020

It’s hard to remember that we are only 3 weeks into January.  It already feels like 5 months.  And as such, maybe I shouldn’t feel quite so frustrated.  Things are getting done, goals are being progressed, but each day feels like a mess, a period of chaotic progress, and non-optimal productivity.

Now, I’m not idiot enough to expect perfect productivity from myself every single day… but I’d like occasional splashes of it.  I genuinely don’t feel I’ve been productivie at all, and yet, things are getting done… sort of.

It’s just messy though.  It’s like everything is going at different speeds than I want them to be.  I’ll give myself an easy task, such as sign up and set up this fitness app, and then not get it done.  And at the same time, non-priority tasks get a ton of work and see a bunch of progress.

There are a number of reasons I’m on edge.  The news the last couple of weeks has definitely impacted me.  I’m waiting to hear back about something, which because 3 weeks feels like 5 months, seems to be taking forever.  I don’t feel in control of my productivity.  I find it hard to focus on the task at hand.

Ordinarily, I’d tell myself to take a few days off and reset, but I’ve tried that and it doesn’t seem to work.  I don’t seem to have any real structure at the moment, despite having structures in place there to aid me.  It’s like I’m going out my way to sabotage myself.

And despite having been in effective lockdown since last March and keeping myself entertained, it’s now starting to wear thin.

The thing is… stuff is getting done… kinda.  It’s just really, really messy, and in some ways I’d rather have slower but more constant productivity.  But I guess I shouldn’t complain;  erratic productivity is still being productive.

Past Issues:   698697 | 696 | 695 | 694 | 693 | 692 | 691 | 690 | 689 | 688 | 687 | 686 | 685 | 684 | 683 | 682 | 681
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Past Years: 2020 – The Year of Being Fearsome | 2019 – The Year of Soldiering Through | 2018 – The Year of Priorities | 2017 – The Year Of The Offensive