Friday 26th February 2021

I took myself for a long walk today.  There were a number of factors that fed into this decision.  Primarily, the weather finally seems to be turning.  We’re moving from winter into spring.  My support bubble C’s a good barometer for this as their ailments flair up with seasonal changes and they’ve been having a rough week.  Today there were blue skies and I’m not exactly sure how a spring blue sky looks different from a winter blue sky but I knew this was the former.

I’ve been saying for ages that when the weather improves I want to be a bit more active.  I don’t deal with cold very well for a number of health reasons so it made it unwise to go out during the clear winter days.  With the weather now changing, it’s a case of trying to get myself moving a lot more.  I want to do regular walks around the block but after last weekend’s Pokemon Kanto event and all the walking I did there, I think I need to build up to it.

My path back to fitness seems a long one.  Being ill for most of last year with a chronic condition flair up meant that when combined with Lockdown I didn’t get out very much (except my daily walk to my support bubble).  As a result, I’ve put on weight and am unfit.  I’m reminded of when my leg exploded and I had to spend a year getting mobility back.  That started by hobbling round the block, then walking and then jogging.

I expect a similar journey here and last weekend’s kanto event and today are the foundations of that: taking walks that at full-fitness I wouldn’t even blink at, but currently leave me a bit knackered for days.

My final reason for the walk was that I’ve been feeling a bit flat lately. People I’ve told have attributed it to a sort of depression but I don’t think it’s that.  In myself, and my day to day, I’m pretty OK.  Things are getting done and there’s plenty to celebrate.  But the ongoing pandemic and the same routines day after day are getting to me a little.  I look at The Climb and whereas pre-pandemic it was a variety of pictures of me going places and doing things, currently it’s pictures taken on the same walk to my support bubble.

I’ve tried to cheat a little (there’s a pandemic on.  Drastic times mean drastic measures).  When I do have a big day out where the background is going to be a little different, I try to do a load of pictures.  It’s not easy doing selfies when there’s a bunch of people around so I have to choose my moments.  Hat on, hat off, smile, growl, grin.  I try and mix it up so that when you come to the blog there’s enough subconscious recognition to know that the latest blog is new.

I then mix these pictures up.  The last time I took a bunch of pictures was back in late October when I had to walk across town after I had sold my car (I have shops right by me, and it was just sitting there rusting, costing me tax and insurance).  I don’t want similar pictures together so I’ll schedule them forward, mixing in pictures I do take when doing the support bubble run.

It also means that I have a backlog, that if the nightly walk a couple of streets doesn’t present me with an opportunity to do a picture, I’m not screwed.

But that backlog has run out now and all I have are pictures taken from the same walk.  Ordinarily, when I feel like this I’d take myself off on a little adventure.  I’d go off by myself to some place or other and give me a “me day”.  Without a car currently, and being in lockdown, means that’s impossible.

So I feel a bit trapped.  Trapped by the weather, trapped by routine, trapped by my own frustrations.

And that’s why I went for a walk around the lake.  Just me and my headphones.  Not trying to think through plot or writing problems, not mulling over any big life decisions.  Just a walk where the only aim was to get some sunlight.

I’d stop, sit on a bench, watch the world go by for a time (seriously people, socially distance please!), take some pictures for The Climb and maybe even play a little Pokemon.

I was out a bit longer and walked further than I had planned.  I felt knackered, had come back with no new insight or direction.  But I did feel a bit more chill.  And of course, I now have a bunch of images for future editions of The Climb.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to get out again before they run out.

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