Sunday 17th December 2017

I’ve been on a massive low today and I have no real idea why.
There’s certainly things I was disappointed about after last night but I found my head was making much bigger a deal of them than they really were.  I’m a little down on sleep recently after a couple of very, very late nights but I’m not overly tired.
The only thing I can put it down to is either that it’s a result of post-tournament fatigue coupled with my tournament disappointment, or that the Vitamin B have caused some chemical imbalance.
I’ve also noticed that I’ve been very unfocused.  I’ve not been able to concentrate on a single thing.  Even sitting down to do the seasonal quests on all 7 of my World of Warcraft alts was a bit of a struggle.  I tried to do some editing this evening but again, I really couldn’t focus.
In many ways it feels like a cold breaking.  All my frustration and upset seems to have reached an apex.  Perhaps this is my way of getting it out my system.  I’ve not felt this low in years.
And yet, I know nothing is really wrong.  I’ll be honest and say I’ve worried if this is the onset of depression but I had a brush with that in the past and this doesn’t feel like that.  Just like being physically exhausted might cause your immune system to lower, so I feel this mental exhaustion has allowed my emotions to feel a bit more fragile.
Of course, me being me, my first reaction to this is to think how this is odd and try and work out where it has come from.  I have had a really rough week, so perhaps it’s no wonder that I’ve been feeling so low.
My way to deal with this is to basically let it take its course.  I’ve been pretty kind to myself this past week.  I’ve stayed off training and allowed myself treats.  Chocolate might be bad for my waistline but it’s good for my emotions.  But perhaps staying away – I did not go sparring today – has just allowed me to dwell a little too much.
Next week is going to be busy in the lead up to Xmas.  I still have some presents to get, some tasks I want to get done and then there’s the entire wrapping thing.
So I’ll let it take it’s course and try and get it over and done with before Xmas.
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels.  Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.

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