In Need Of Focus – The Climb #178

Tuesday 18^th July 2017

I’d like to pretend that I’m not still smarting from yesterday, but in truth I am. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to keep away from people – both in person and online – from Thursday so I can focus on my mental preparations for competition.
I know I need to be less hungry for success, and more focused on just fencing my best without care of win or loss. I definitely think that the mental game is a big thing for me when it comes to competition and I need to treat yesterday as a lucky escape. Having it happen the week before a competition means that I still have time to deal with it.
But I’ve had loads to distract me from working on my focus.
I have a 2 day work meeting which I’m not looking forward to. Just simple things like sorting a fridge for food is proving really difficult. I’m finding myself getting stressed about it when I shouldn’t.
I think part of the problem is that I don’t get any value out of these days. It’s all fundamental stuff, and whilst that’s useful to go back over in swordfighting, when it comes to the world of business I mostly sit there thinking to myself “I know why it’s the way it is, but it could be like this instead”.
I think there’s a small part of me that’s not looking forward to being social for 2 days.
I’ve had to prepare my meals for the next couple of days and the result was that by the time I sat down with time to myself… it was close to 10pm. I’d hoped to find the time to research and tank the raid I need for my World of Warcraft flying, but I did a couple of world quests and then just got bored. So instead I just worked on doing the points from last week’s tournament
And then I have my big tournament I’m running tomorrow night which should be ridiculous amounts of fun. I had to get some things prepared, such as cards, and a pen, and notepad, and prizes.
So, as a result, underneath, the smarting is a little stress which I need to get away from so that my mind is focused on competition and not everything else.
I did have some good news though. A parcel that should have been delivered to my parents when I was in the US, turned up. It got sent back and I had to get it resent out. And then I also got my compensation cheque for my delayed flight to Winnipeg. Close to CA $900… which really wasn’t bad.
I’m also trying to ‘cheer’ myself up with the thought of what I’m going to treat myself to come Sunday night. Whilst it’s only a couple of weeks until Fightcamp, I reckon I’ll either need to celebrate or commiserate. I think my plans involve copious amounts of ice cream!
I’d wanted to do a bit of editing tonight as well. I’ve taken a small break this week mainly because I felt I’d be stressed about the tournament anyway, without adding writing stress to it. I’ve told myself that it’s OK… this tournament has been planned for a long time and I always planned to make it my focus in the days leading up to it.
But focus is my problem. My head’s elsewhere this week and I’m not going to be able to narrow in for another couple of days. Hence why I plan to become a hermit for a couple of days come Thursday afternoon.
All the time I’m reminding myself that I said I would get frustrated around this time of year. But that frustration currently isn’t born out of lack of skill, it’s born out of lack of putting my mind to my fight, and solely it.
I have a few days left to go though. Hopefully, by Saturday I’ll be back on my A-game!
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels. Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.