Self-Imposed Exile – The Climb #166

Thursday 6^th July 2017

Today has been a bit of a down day.
Following yesterday’s panic attack, I’ve been left a little flat and annoyed about a few things. This has put me in a bit of a “fuck the world” mood which is never helpful and so I’ve kept away from people lest I make things worse.
Needless to say that things have annoyed me to the stage where I think I’m going to say things that might upset people. At the moment, I really don’t care. But I think even once I do, I owe it to myself to be honest.
And so, I’ve kept a low profile all day. I played a bit of World of Warcraft but this was more just to take my mind off things rather than any form of procrastination.
I’ve also continued work on the first three chapters of Black as Knight to try and ensure that I’ve not created two plot holes in place of any single one I’ve patched up.
Putting my mood aside, I really like what I’ve produced so far. Moving pieces around into a dedicated paragraph seems to have worked and it feels… I dunno… layered?
Maybe I’m just having a bit of subconscious self-praise to lift my spirits but the first chapter reads like something I wouldn’t believe I could have created. It’s circular – the conclusion of the chapter linking back to the start – and it imparts a hell of a lot of information. It feels good.
Of course, it’ll feel good up until the point I send it to a couple of readers and they rip it apart. I’m so familiar with the text now, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to cast a critical eye over it.
Instead, I read it aloud, trying to find pieces where I stumble over words or spout nonsense. I did this with the last draft before sending it to beta readers, and practically lost my voice over the 5 days I read it.
I’ve also updated the document version. This draft is (or was) version 13.0. But in going back over the first chapter I’ve started removing more stuff so I felt I needed to subversion it. So we’re now on draft 13.1. It just means that if I want to roll back any of the changes I’ve made in the last month or so, I can just open the old version.
I have a feeling that once I get these three chapters smooth then it should be fairly easy to get to chapter 22 where I need to consolidate three chapters into one. Famous last words. There’s still plenty of little things I need to tweak which could have big impact. But I think if I get these first chapters done and polished everything else should feel relatively simple by comparison.
I’m not sure how much longer my self-imposed exile will last but at least I’ve got plenty to keep me busy.
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels. Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.