Evolution – The Climb #258

Friday 6^th October 2017

I’ve never believed in God. Nor do I believe in fate. I do, however, believe the universe gives you signs from time to time.
In truth this is just your subconscious drawing meaning from your day, finding parallels that justify a position you probably have already unknowingly concluded. But I’m a writer, and love the romanticism behind it, so I just go with it being the Universe.
I have such a great life at the moment. My health is probably the best it has been in ages. Yeah, my stomach still plays up and I’m needing physio for my back, but at least both those things seem to be in the process of being resolved, even if it is slowly.
The writing is going well. Yes, I’m getting a bit frustrated in the short term, but I knew what I was letting myself in for. And over the long term… well look how meteoric it’s been. Black as Knight was written as an experimental novel, the sort that I never expected to get published. I’ve revised it and refined it countless times to the stage where I’m almost sick of it.
But in doing so it’s become something so much more. I’m so excited about that book, and feel there’s an audience out there just waiting to discover it. And whilst we’re still in limbo, we’re still a lot closer than we were. I’ve levelled up incredibly as a writer and am genuinely excited by how far we’ve come.
The next chapter in that story is yet to come, and I suspect it won’t be long.
And then there’s the swordifighting. 18 months ago I had a plan… to turn myself from someone average to someone half decent. Just like my writing, I’ve beavered away, making slow steady progress. I went to Swordfish, found my calm and proved my defense to be world class. Then I came back, entered Bucklerthon 24 hours before the event and got silver.
I then declared 2017 to be my year of the offensive, and proceeded to teach… because I was certain that 6 months of teaching would see me make massive improvement. I continued to get quarter final places, proving myself decent, but over the summer – 6 months after starting teaching – I realised the massive growth, rapidly improving until I got silver at Wessex and jumping to #57 in the world with rapier & dagger.
Over the last 5 or so years I’ve grown into a person I really, really like. 5 years ago, I wasn’t happy with myself. I had body confidence issues, I wasn’t happy with myself. Anxiety ruled me.
Leggeddon was a ‘do or di’e moment and I surprised myself by choosing to ‘do’. I went off and did things on my bucket list. I became the worst ever swordfighting student the school has ever had, and yet I went back week after week, levelling myself up through sheer will and determination. I also started storm chasing, starting with tours with professionals until this year we chased as our own group.
I went and bought a house in a town where I knew no-one and made a life here.
Life is good. Heck, it’s as damn near perfect as it can ever be. And yet there’s part of me that makes me feel like I’m about to ruin it all. I worry, I’m about to make some changes that will see this fantastic life fall around me.
I’ve been silently stressing about it for weeks now. I wonder if I’m just being self-destructive.
And then, the universe gave me a sign. It would mean nothing to anyone else, but it was enough to reassure me that I’m doing the right thing.
I have to remember that taking up swordfighting was shaking things up. It was a risk. I knew I would be the fattest, slowest, least co-ordinated person there. But you know what? I told myself that I would enjoy the journey.
I went storm chasing without telling a soul, sending videos back teasing what I was doing only once there, lest friends and family try and dissuade me. We got caught in a mile wide tornado on our first night. I’ve since lost windows, had hail smash me in the head, been up close to a tornado and jumped out in front of its path.
I bought a house away from everyone because it was a perfect house and I figured if things were bad I could always sell it again.
I wrote a book I planned rather than wrote by the seat of my pants. I sent it to a world-class agent on a whim to placate people who I was nagging about their manuscripts. I got signed and received amazing advice that has really levelled up my writing.
I took charge of my health. Realising I wasn’t happy with myself… I threw myself into the gym, I changed my nutrition, deciding that my aim was to be the impossible.
This new person I’ve become, likes to take risks. He doesn’t rest on his laurels. People are only now beginning to see my insane dedication and, more importantly, the results.
Changing it up isn’t self-destructive, it’s continuing to evolve when others around you have become stagnant.
I have an incredible life, and the universe showed that to me tonight. And what do I take from that? That I shouldn’t be scared and continue to evolve.
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels. Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.