Sucstress – The Climb #160

Friday 30^th June 2017
I made up a word today.
My friend (and author) Emma Newman was talking about that welcome stress you get when you’re doing something awesome but it’s still outside your comfort zone. She was sure there’d be some German word for it, but I suggested we make one up.
Sucstress
I got a lot of likes and won the internet today, so I felt good and will continually use it so that I can tell people when it’s in popular use that I created it (like I did Urban Vinyl for designer toys, but some people dispute that).
My energy levels haven’t been great again today. It was another busy day on the day job but quieter than previous days. Yet, I still felt mentally exhausted. Given how closely I monitor illness, it’s possible that I might just be very good at spotting natural low energy days. I wonder if I have a touch of some bug although it’s not manifested itself in any other ways.
And then I realised, that I am at that stage of the novel – the bit around the transition from second act to third act – and I always get a bit despondent towards the novel around then.
So I think it’s a mix of feeling tired from the amount of effort I’ve put into the edits, a slither of work stress and the position I’m at editing the novel.
Part of me really wants to take a break. I find myself dreaming of all the things I’m going to do when this edit is done. I’m going to take a month off and just watch TV and play video games. I played a bit more World of Warcraft this evening to try and get the procrastination out my system. I didn’t play it for a long time and it didn’t make me feel any better.
I realised that I need to do a lot of dungeons and as a tank, I hate doing that in group finder or in a PUG (Pick Up Group). As DPS you can often hide your lack of knowledge by just copying everyone else, but as a tank, if you don’t know the boss mechanics you will wipe the group.
But I am held up on a number of quests that need Legion dungeons and raids, neither of which I’ve done on this character. So my plan is to read up on one dungeon or LFR and then run it. I suspect the whole experience will be so traumatising that it’ll have me diving back into the novel for days.
I do get a bit of a break this weekend though. Friends are over from Australia so I’m seeing them tomorrow. Whilst we chat over social media, I’ve not spoken to them in person for a good seven or eight years.
So that was another incentive to try and finish the chapter I was editing as it’ll be Sunday night before I can edit again.
So I did battle on this evening, and once through a very tricky part, things seemed to get a bit smoother. But I’m now at the stage where I need to consolidate chapters before editing the last part of the novel.
So tonight I find myself at the stage where I stop line edits, go back and start to read the novel to make sure it makes sense. The plan is that when I get to the 22^nd chapter, that I’ll consolidate it with the two that follow, and then read and line edit the last part.
There’s still a lot of work to do and the line edits aren’t finished so much as postponed.
With this next stage comes a fair amount of sucstress (see what I did there?) as I have to make sure that I’ve not broken continuity or plot with the changes I’ve made so far.
I’ve got friends waiting for the first few chapters and I hope I might be able to get that out to them by the end of the weekend.
I’m equal parts excited and terrified to find out just what the edited novel reads like. I’ve been dealing with it piecemeal on this draft so I lack that overall feeling.
I recently found a FB post from three years ago when I finished editing the draft that I would eventually send out to agents (a year later). In it I say how proud I am of the novel and how I feel it has something (even if it’s in the hands of an unskilled writer). It was interesting to read those words.
I still feel this book has something. I can’t put my finger on it but it goes beyond a simple pride in something I’ve crafted. I said back then that I could see it doing well, and whilst it still has a long way to go, I look how far it’s come in three years and even in the middle of sucstress, I feel exactly the same. This book feels special.
Now whether my feeling of special equates to a traditionally published book that sells a few hundred copies or a mega-blockbuster remains to be seen. I try not to think about it too much.
But reading those words from three years ago reminded me that I need to give this book everything. The thing that will let it down is the writer, which is why these edits are so important and I need to push on with the next stage.
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels. Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.