Kill All Humans – The Climb #221

Wednesday 30^th August 2017

I’ve been in a weird mood today. I’d like to attribute it to having come out a period of intense novel work, but in reality, I think people have just been pissing me off.
It’s weird feeling to finish a draft of a novel. You’ve had your head inhabiting that world for so long that once you stop, it’s like stepping out of a darkened room into really bright sunlight. I always feel a bit out of sorts, and usually plan at least a couple of days before I start anything else.
I tend to feel quite restless. It’s not just that I now have more time on my hands, it’s that I have more space in my head.
This time it’s manifested itself as stress. I’m not sure if that’s stress because last week was a busy week at work, or stress because I have a load of other things to do, or stress because I’m worrying about what happens next.
And that’s possibly why I’m not good to be around people right now. I’m grumpy and irritable, and whereas sometimes I want to hide myself away for fear of accidentally offending people, today, I just wanted to be away from people so they didn’t annoy me. I know I’d be blunt to their faces, and wouldn’t want to listen to whatever reasons they might have.
I’ve had at least 2 instances where I want to rant. One about the day job, one about something personal. Ordinarily, I’d just let this wash over me. I’d still be annoyed by it, but it wouldn’t have me wishing I could lock myself away from people. Because… grrrr… people!
The morning started well. The new Warcraft patch got released today and I got an hour or so’s play with it before having to start the day job. I’m looking forward to diving in more, particularly as I can do so without worrying how much time I put into it. But I have a cake club meeting tomorrow so it’ll be the weekend before I can really play it properly.
However, the day got worse as it progressed and despite making some progress on my ToDo list, I was so fed up by the end of the day that I was tempted not to go to training tonight.
I think my frustration there is that I don’t seem to be motivated like I normally do. I need some fire in me to want to win, and yet my tournament in Bristol is just over 2 weeks away and I’m less focused on it than I was 6 months before Astolat.
I think this, more than anything else, is a sign that I’m run down, that I gave everything to getting the novel done. At least I’ve had the ability to recognise it and force myself to take a month off. I know I’ll end up working on something long before then, but at least that will be when I feel naturally rested and ready, rather than trying to hurry my post novel recovery.
But today humans annoyed me and I wished I was back writing… because at least if fictional characters irk the fuck out of you, you can kill them off.
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