Friday 8th December 2017

Tomorrow is my last tournament and I have a grand plan.
This is the year of the offensive.  This is the year I’ve dedicated myself to going out and making things happen.  Last year I fought defensively and this was the year I wanted to change that.
Looking back at the year, I’ve certainly done that.  I’ve thrown myself at the year.  Whether it be my writing or my swordfighting, I’ve really pushed myself to breaking point.  In many ways, it’s no wonder I end the year feeling so exhausted.
My aim was to get inside the top 100 for rapier & dagger.  I’ve done that.  I’ve won my first medal for it, my first silver.  I’ve proved I’m every bit as good as the front runners in the school.
But now’s not the time to prove myself better.  Yes, I want to capitalise on what I’ve done, take my victories and use them to push me harder and further.  But I can’t be afraid to make mistakes.  I’m still gaining tournament experience.  This isn’t the year for me to be unbeatable.  That’s still some way off.
Instead, I have to be prepared to fail.
So,  I’m going to take wins… or I’m going to fail trying.
Tomorrow could be the biggest disaster in my swordfighting career… but I’ll learn from it, even if what I learn is what not to do.
Around me, everywhere is now doing their reviews of the year.  I’m still not done yet.
But this is my last tournament, and so maybe it’s time to pull out all the stops.  Go out in a blaze of glory or die in a fiery blaze.
I still intend to be technical.  I’m going to not thrust into opening that are not there… but what I am going to do… is fight.
I’m going to bed early (although at 9:15pm currently I feel I’m already late).  I’m going to be getting up at 6am and driving to Reading where I’m travelling with Josh and Stewart.  Stewart is judging and Josh is in the Sword & Buckler but I’d rather go up early.
I’ve packed my case as well as my bag.  I just need to get up, have breakfast and load up the car.  Hopefully I’ll wake feeling both rested and focused.
I’ll be glad when this is over.  I intend to take things a bit easier with the swordfighting for the rest of the year.  I’ve already decided I won’t be doing Sunday sparring this weekend and will probably be erratic until the new year.
I still have no idea what my theme for next year will be.  It’s got to be something that suits both my swordfighting and my writing.  However, I suspect that whatever it ends up being will have something to do with how well tomorrow goes (or doesn’t).
This year is the year of the offensive… it’s been working up to tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the day of the offensive…and it doesn’t matter whether I win or lose, only what I learn as a result.
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels.  Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.

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