I’ve talked before about how rubbish I am with horror movies. Let’s face it, I’m an embarrassment to my hardcore-horror friends. I immerse myself so deeply that a quick cut to anything, be it zombie or kitten, makes me jump out of my seat and as a result breaks the immersion. As a result the majority of horror doesn’t work for me.
I’ve been reading the entire series of the Walking Dead comic book and absolutely loving it, but still I’ve not watched the television series. Is that because I’m worried they will change important elements of the comic books’ plot? No, I desperately want to watch this show. It’s because zombies jumping out at me will make me jump. I’m such a pussy!

There are some horrors that do work on me though. Candyman caused me to stop looking in the bathroom mirror for weeks and there was an associated mockumentary released at the same as The Blair Witch Project which, because it was on television made it seem more authentic than the big screen version of the movie itself. The movie was a bit creepy, the mockumentary kept me awake at night.
The other problem I have is that I’ve got my priorities all wrong. Yes, I know that the promiscuous cheerleader was mean to the girl who was trying very hard to look ugly and plain Jane; I know she was flat and one dimensional. But even so… to fall into the sawmill and be dissected limb by limb… the poor girl. How terrible!
It wasn’t until I watched Freddy Vs Jason that I realised I’d got my priorities all wrong. Waitaminute, we’re supposed to be cheering the monsters? Behind me, hundreds of horror fans slap their heads in disbelief. Freddy vs Jason wasn’t what you call a good horror film but it made me realise that in these b-movie slashers, you’re not supposed to have much character empathy, you’re supposed to just sit back and enjoy watching the blood fly. Gore has never really bothered me so I can quite easily do that.
But I’ve spent enough years covering Freddy, Jason and Leatherface that I think, aside from jumping kittens, their movies don’t work on me any more. Or perhaps, now I can enjoy them more for what they are? Either way, I think any Halloween viewing will be something a little less seasonal.