Monday 18th October 2021 

I’ve spent a lot of time over the pandemic widening my skills.  I think it’s very easy to be good at one thing, but then be unable to have much breadth as a writer, because you just stay in your lane.  Not every project needs every skill, but I think being versatile as a writer is needed in today’s climate. 

I’m getting immense validation from trying these other things.  First, I’m doing them without internal pressure.  I’m allowing myself to fail, because these are new.  So if I write a terrible script or cannot handle different genres, it’s OK, because I’m learning and not core to what I do. 

However, I’m finding that I’m not terrible.  I’m certainly far from best, but I’ve dived into some challenges and found I can swim.  This has been a massive validation to myself.  I can write. 

This past week has been interesting as I’ve dived into a new secret project, just to see if I could.  And I’ve done really well. 

I have a couple of own worst enemies with writing. 

I often feel invisible as a writer.  That’s not helped by some projects which have to be kept under wraps.  I want people to see my writing.  Whilst what author doesn’t want praise, what I want is much more subtle.  I want to be seen.  So I get frustrated with novel projects which take a year.  I hate it when I edit diligently, and I take so long.  I’ve tried to combat it by taking on secret projects I can’t talk about.  I’ve tried to make it fun to be in the shadows, but I crave the attention – not on me, but my words. 

Couple with that,  I desire validation.  I want people to look at something and like it.  Not everyone, of course.  I can expect a critical review from time to time and drag me down, but not as much as not having anything out there for people to review. 

I work hard to combat this.  I’ve never been one to get jealous of other writers. Although lately I notice there have been times.  I need to write quicker, I need to be a better writer.  It’s why I build systems to help me.  I’m trying to understand my process and iron out the inefficiencies.  At least then if a novel takes me 5 months, it’s 5 months well spent. 

I’m prepping another novel currently.  It’s just ideas currently.  I plan to start writing on November 1st.  I’ll use that time to mentally detach from The Accursed so (theoretically) I’ll be ready to edit it when I finish The Worthy.  But we’ll see.  The wait and then the edit will just add months to that story, and there’ll be no validation in that time. 

But perhaps, it’s those little side projects that I need to use to give me the validation.  Small quick hits, while I work away in the darkness on novels. 

One thing is for sure, I’m not going to run out of things to write anytime soon. 

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