Monday 29th June 2020
I’m glad I had a weekend of no projects as I now seem to have a few. Remember how I said in publishing everything happens in burst. We’re now in a burst.
Nothing really to report. Maybe in the future… but not now. I’ve seen situations where everything looks good only for something to happen last minute and it all turn to shit.
So instead of vagueblogging, I’m going to say this has been a journey, especially over the last month or so.
And you know what? I’m proud of myself. Things could have very easily have been heading in a different direction right now, and it’s only due to the hard work of a number of people things are where they are now. I take nothing from them, but when I have to constantly battle self-doubt and imposter syndrome, now’s the time to tell myself that I made it happen.
As whilst I think this period of life might make for an amusing anecdote, the simple fact is that I lived it. This has been a test of resolve and skill.
I constantly berate myself for not achieving much during lockdown… and yet… here we are. Some exciting new projects.
So tonight, just for one night, no self-doubt; no crippling anxiety. Instead, just a knowledge that I’ll be proved right.
There’s a lot of work ahead, but you know… doing outlines and discussion documents – Heck , even doing synopsises, which as everyone knows is a writers least favourite thing – I’ve realised how much I love this. I can’t explain just how much I love it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s tough. It’s ridiculously tough. I have writer friends who’ve seen how much I’ve had to ride out. But I’ve seen friends go through similar tough times and battle it out. I feel it’s toughened me up; made me resourceful; made me realise what’s important.
There’ll be further tough times ahead, no doubt. I’m half expecting something even now. But I feel I’ll be ready – or if not ready, I’ll find a way through.
There’s lots of work to do but I know what I need to do. I’m organised, I’m as ready as I can be.
It’s a funny old story how I got to this point… and it ain’t over yet.
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