Thursday 18th January 2018

The big trouble with finishing a big project like an edit or a novel is that you suddenly find time on your hands.
I liken it to stepping off a travellator or that alien feeling you have when you walk into your house after a holiday.  You’ve been working on a project for so long that when it finishes and you don’t need to work on it any more (at least for the time being) it can be a little disconcerting.  All that mental energy invested into characters and plots is suddenly freed up.
I never know what to do with myself.  I feel like I’ve grown an extra pair of limbs.
Many people say I should jump into another project but just as I can’t start reading a new book the day I finish one, so I can’t just jump into a project.  I need time to recharge, to consume rather than create.
It always feels such a lazy process to me, but I know it’s necessary.  I need to emerge myself into a game, or watch a Netflix series.  I need to surround myself with someone else’s creation so I myself can start to feel creatively energised.
And so, I’ve spent a lot of time this week on the sofa watching TV slowly driving myself mad.  It’s different if I have company.  There’s someone to interact with, to discuss the events.  But sat on my sofa alone it seems such a passive task.
And it is.  It’s the resting up after running a marathon.
I have absolutely no idea what my next project is going to be.  Other than creating a synopsis for Book 3, it’s pointless starting anything major until I know what’s going on with the Shade Knight books.
And so tonight I found myself dressed in my wookiee onesie watching Star Trek Discovery.  I’m not the biggest Star Trek fan but I like that Discovery is taking Trek in a new direction, one where people are greyer and bad decisions are made.  It’s certainly fine for binge watching and I’ve now watched the first 9 or 10 episodes.
Of course this was interspersed with discussions with friends over text about TV series and Bitcoin and books but it was a pretty brain dead night.
Given that I was feeling a little wired this morning it was probably needed.  I managed to battle it but it feels, for want of a better explanation, that there are aftershocks to my panic attack last week.  I think a number of things are feeding into this, not least the day job, which even my boss feels has been tough the last couple of weeks.
Maybe one day, I can finish a draft and have a proper 2 week break where I do nothing but watch TV and play games before jumping into something new.  But for now, I have to deal with the stresses of having a day job.   I’m just glad all this is happening when everything I need to get done, is done.
I’ll probably chill out for the rest of this month with a view to starting something new in February.
But for now it’s nights in, in front of the TV.  I intend to enjoy it.
If you want to follow more of my journey, then be sure to check me on my social channels.  Likewise, if you’d like me to expand on any point mentioned above, please say so in the comments.

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